Instead here I am, listening to my hiphop/r&b shit playlist facebooking and blogging about places I will go and things I will do. Hopefully something I'll do tomorrow is start and finish that 4-5 page research paper and remember to do my other homework.
Today is a Sunday, so naturally instead of doing homework I let my mind wander to my social life, a replacement car for the one I totaled a couple weeks ago, and my ex-boyfriend among other things. And since He's on my mind again I end up at the mall around 6pm tonight, realizing I need some retail therapy since I can't stop thinking about my 3 year relationship with a guy I no longer speak to. Thank God it's the holidays and the mall is open until 9pm on Sundays...I buy myself 3 pairs of jeans, justifying my purchase with the fact that I'll be going to San Jose, CA in less than 2 weeks and it's COLD there. What can I say, I'm definitely a desert rat and cut every pair of jeans I own into shorts last summer.
The electricity is out at my apartment complex, so I go to join some friends over at the University's library to "study". It turns out however that a guy I can't stand to be around (lots of negative energy surrounds him) is studying with my friends. I decide to avoid the conflict, study by myself on the 4th floor of the library. My friend says she feels really bad about it, but she can't do anything about it.
My instinct in this instance is to say exactly what's on my mind...like why on earth would you not just get up and leave? Or tell him to fuck off? Or say that I'm coming to study with you later, he should sit somewhere else? You know this guy causes nothing but grief in your life and mine. I refrain and just tell my friend it's fine, I don't understand why this guy always has to ruin my fun but it's not a big deal, shrug my shoulders and continue with my school work/ searching for a DJ internship / DJ software for macs. Lesson learned from today: I feel so much better from just letting it go instead of lecturing my friend on not hanging out with this guy.
It's such a small ordeal, but honestly things that bother me concerning my friends can really cause me anxiety or make me upset enough to change my mood. I usually just vent and feel better- however I've been finding the less I speak badly about people and keep bad thoughts to myself or to a minimum, the happier and more carefree of a person I am. And I love that, because I like to "keep it drama free" as Chris Brown would say. I want to embody a statement I read on the Happiness Project today: "I try very hard not to have people in my life that talk bad about other people and attract drama. I have zero tolerance for self-inflicted drama."
I love music and have to share one of my all time favorites that always calms me down and leaves me feeling carefree:
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